Nadia's Window

Twenty Twelve

2012-01-10T15:35:00.000-07:00

I've decided that for the year 2012, my goal is to learn something new each month. As I've been brainstorming all the different things I could learn, I've been humbled to realize how little I know. I'm not planning on learning anything big, like the French language for example, but I want to learn new skills that will either help my daily life or bring me joy.

For January, I've decided to learn how to use mint.com. Basically, this month will be about budgeting. I've learned how to make budgets many times, but I'm hoping that this time we'll actually stick to it. That's the goal for this month (and hopefully the year ahead, as well.)

Along with the fantastic Mint website, I'll be checking out as many personal finance books from our little town library as I can. I'll update my reading list for this month, and I'll also be working to make a list of other things to learn this year. Any suggestions?

For My Mother

2011-06-13T19:15:00.000-06:00

This past week, I was talking to my mom about some blogs/websites that I have found really helpful over the past few months as I've been on this Weight Watchers journey. Reading about other people's successes and struggles has been really valuable to me. As well as inspiration, I also find great, healthy (low points) recipes. Mom asked me to put them on my blog so that she can find them easily, so I am obliging her. Aren't I the best of daughters?

So, here are my 3 go-to blogs:

Roni's Weigh. Roni lost 70 pounds about 5 years ago. As a 30-something mom, it's refreshing to read about someone in my boat, who has experienced such success. http://ronisweigh.com/

Green Lite Bites. This is Roni's food blog. Her experiments in the kitchen are low point, often kid friendly, quick and easy. I even made my first "green" smoothie because of this blog. http://greenlitebites.com/

Gina's Skinny Recipes. More great, weight watchers friendly recipes. I can't wait to try this. Yum. http://www.skinnytaste.com/

So, I'm adding these to my blog roll. I'm always looking for other weight loss blogs, especially weight watchers friendly ones. Any recommendations?

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

2011-02-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

I recently finished reading Gretchen Rubin's book "The Happiness Project." I like to start my year with a few "self-improvement" type books, and this is one that I've been wanting to read for awhile. While this isn't a tremendously academic book, it IS a thoughtful one, which has made me pause often to consider how my behavior is influencing my happiness and the happiness of those I love.

I was pleased to realize that I inadvertently embarked on my own "happiness project" when Danny left for New York in November. I decided that I simply couldn't allow this year to be lost to depression, negativity and lack of control. I knew that I needed to be aware of my own emotional and physical well being in order to be the best mom I can be to my three kiddos.

After a few months of contemplation, I decided that one of the most important things I could do to help me feel better was to tackle my issues I've had with my weight. Ugh. Am I crazy? Go on a diet at a highly stressful time in our lives? Isn't that a recipe for failure? Surprisingly, no.

In January, I walked myself into our local Weight Watchers meeting, and signed up. I think that was the hardest part. I've been stunned at how my weight loss process so far has helped me so much, by giving me something concrete to focus on. I have something that I'm in control of, that doesn't have anything to do with anyone but myself. I'm part of a little group that I meet with every week. Other than the fact that we're all a little fatter than we want to be, we don't have much in common. But, that room of ladies has helped me a lot over the past 6 weeks. Just having to show up and be accountable is great, but having people clap at my successes and give me stickers like a kindergartner makes every weigh-in Wednesday a little brighter. It also helps that today I reached my first 10 pound milestone.

Hurray for me, hurray for taking control, and hurray for happiness!

Keep Calm and Carry On

2011-02-05T16:02:00.006-07:00

It's funny how back in the summer, the idea of going to a movie alone was a strange thing to me. Things certainly change quickly.

I'm doing a lot of things on my own these days because my sweet husband took a job in NYC until June. After our little school here closed, we were forced to consider employment options that we previously wouldn't have. The kids started at the local public school, and found themselves happy and enjoying experiences they had never had (ie. riding a school bus.) So, when my husband was offered an interim position in NY, the choice was made that I would stay here with the kids, while he went east. He's been gone since November, coming home for holidays, and the occasional weekend. We miss him.

BUT, these past few months have helped me realize a lot about myself... about what I'm capable of doing on my own, about the importance of an optimistic outlook, about the blessings of busy-ness, about my love of solitude, and about how much I adore my husband. I'm trying to remain calm in the face of uncertainty, upbeat despite my natural tendency toward crankiness, and energetic when sometimes I'd rather stay in bed. Believe it or not, I'm doing a pretty good job.

An old dog learns a new trick

2010-08-17T10:03:00.004-06:00

Last weekend, I found myself YEARNING to do something I never would have guessed would sound appealing to me in the slightest. With the blessing of my sweet husband, who watched the kids, and $12 in my pocket, I went to the movies BY MYSELF.

I went to see Eat, Pray, Love. An appropriate choice for a gal going to the movies alone.

I sat alone in a dark theater. I ate chocolate covered raisins. I didn't talk to anyone. I didn't check my phone. I didn't take anyone to the bathroom. I laughed, I cried, I marveled at Javier Bardem, I craved pizza and I longed for Bali. I was refreshed and replenished.

The movie ended and I went home, hugged my kids, and unloaded the dishwasher. It's amazing how an experience that would have struck terror in my heart as a teenager was exactly what my tired mothering heart needed.

So, to all those moms out there who are going crazy at the end of having a house full of kids all summer, I suggest a solo trip to the movies. Two hours of air-conditioned peace and quiet is bliss.

Letterboxing

2010-07-13T00:47:00.003-06:00

We've been enjoying a new hobby this summer... Letterboxing! It's been a great way to get the kids out of the house, enjoy a "treasure hunt" of sorts, find new spots in our own backyard and see old spots in a new way. I was stunned to find that there are over 100 boxes planted within 25 miles of Provo. This little hobby could really keep a gal busy.

Our notebook is filling up with fun and funky hand carved stamps, little pieces of art that reward you at the end of your quest.
The kids have enjoyed deciphering clues, scrambling down paths, searching under rocks, and spending great family time together.

To learn more about the fun, and practically FREE, past-time of Letterboxing, you can visit Atlas Quest or Letterboxing North America.

Thank me now and curse me later

2010-07-06T15:23:00.001-06:00

One Sunday a month, my husband's family gets together to celebrate that month's birthdays. With Grandma, Grandpa, aunts, uncles and cousins, we end up with quite a crowd. Last Sunday, we threw the 4th of July into the mix. Our contribution to the party was a fantastic carrot cake. Back in 2005, I found this recipe in InStyle magazine. Everytime I make it I am completely taken aback by how delicious it is. In fact, it is so good that I can only make it once or twice a year. It's the kind of cake you just can't stop picking at. On Sunday, as we cleaned up the kitchen, everyone seemed to keep coming back to take "one last bite."

Because I keep losing the recipe, I'm posting it here so I can always find it. Hope someone out there enjoys it too. (Sorry there's no picture, but by the time I thought about it there was nothing left but crumbs and frosting smears.)

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp salt
2 cups sugar
1 ¼ cups vegetable oil
2 eggs
4 cups grated carrots
1 cup sweetened flaked coconut
1 pkg. (8oz.) cream cheese, at room temperature
1 pkg. (3oz.) cream cheese, at room temperature
4 Tbsp unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 ½ cups confectioners’ sugar
2 tsp vanilla

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two 8” cake pans. Sift flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt into medium bowl. In large bowl beat together sugar, oil and eggs with electric beater on medium, until well blended. Beat flour mixture into egg mixture until just blended. Stir in carrots and coconut (this seems too dry and impossible first, but the more you mix, the more the moisture in the carrots helps the blending and mixing). Evenly divide batter into prepared pans. Bake in heated oven 40-45 minutes, or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool completely in pans on wire rack. In medium bowl beat cream cheese and butter until blended with electric beater on medium. Add confectioner’s sugar; beat until mixture is smooth. Add vanilla. Place one cake layer on serving platter. Spread with about ¾ cup frosting. Place second layer on top. Spread top with remaining frosting.

Weekend Edification

2010-05-11T16:17:00.001-06:00

This weekend, Meridian School is partnering with the fabulous folks at Pizzeria 712/Communal, to host a film screening and panel discussion about food. (One of my favorite and least favorites topics.) Local chefs and farmers will be there to talk about the nutritionally & environmentally responsible options we have right here in Utah. If you are local, want to come watch a free movie, and hear passionate people talk about what they love, you should stop by.

Go here

or here

for more information. See you there!

Saturday, May 15th, 1-4 p.m.

Meridian School

280 S. 400 E.

Orem UT

Happy Earth Day!

2010-04-22T10:02:00.000-06:00

On Monday, our family sat around the dinner table discussing things that we could each do this week to help the earth. With a 9, 5 and 3 year old, we have lots of willing helpers and eager reminders. Here's the list of things we decided we could do this week.

Dad -- drive his scooter to work, instead of the car. Uses much less gas. Good for the planet and the wallet.

Mom -- remember to actually use all the reusable bags at the grocery store, buy an "eco" dish-soap, walk to school & back 1 time instead of driving, and turn off the temperature control in the house. (Confessions: the walk back and forth to school is a little under 2 miles each way, and there is a really big hill on the way. If it was just me, I might do it more often, but with a stroller and 2 grumpy kids, it's a LONG walk. AND, I turned the heat on this morning. It was snowing and really cold inside. So sue me.)

9 -- be in charge of making sure all the lights are off in rooms that are unoccupied.

5 -- be "The Recycler." (Must be said in "super-hero" voice.) He's been learning about all the things that can be recycled, and even helped Dad take out the big blue recycling can last night.

3 -- make sure the water is turned off after brushing teeth. Can't tell you how many times I find the water running after she brushes her teeth. But not this week.

Tonight, we are going to watch The Story of Stuff and eat leftovers in celebration of Earth Day.

Peace out from Nadia, aka green hippie-chick.

Another post about food

2010-04-09T18:29:00.000-06:00

I have loved Jamie Oliver, the Naked Chef, for years. How can you not love a guy who calls himself the naked chef, seriously?

Anyway, a few months ago, my husband told me about how Jamie Oliver won the TED prize this year. (My husband is a TED addict, strange but true.) We sat in front of the laptop and watched Jamie's passionate plea for the health of America's children. It was mesmerizing. That's when I first heard about Jamie's new show here in the US, "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution," and signed his petition supporting getting better food into schools and keeping cooking skills alive. How could I object? You could sign it too...

I've really been enjoying my Friday nights over the past few weeks, watching Jamie's show with my kids. It's made them think a little differently about food, and the importance of eating "stuff that's good for you." It's even made them a little more adventurous. (Baby steps.)

So, if you're like me and don't have much to do on a Friday night, head on over to ABC and watch a little Jamie Oliver. If nothing else, his accent is awesome and he has great phrases that you can substitute for your typical American cuss words.

Spring Cleaning

2010-04-06T10:40:00.000-06:00

There is always something about Spring that makes me want to clean up, clear out and start fresh. It doesn't last long, but while the feeling is in the air, I plan to take advantage of it.

I'll admit that I'm not much of a homemaker. I don't glory in clean toilets, or feel the need to be able to eat off my kitchen floor. I have to give myself small, focused tasks, and hopefully the sum of those tasks will equal a home that is more orderly, organized and pleasant to be in.

My current mini-task is one kitchen drawer. It's the draw that holds all of our kitchen tools. Not the utensils or small appliances, but all the other stuff; peelers, spoons, spatulas, garlic presses, zesters and so forth. Over our marriage, we have amassed quite a collection. My husband and I always end up getting strange little kitchen do-dads for each other's Christmas stockings each year. The drawer had gotten so full that getting it to close was nearly impossible. But, getting rid of anything seems almost impossible too. I need this stuff.

So, here's how I am tackling my over-abundance of kitchen gadgetry. I emptied the entire drawer into a box. Then, I panicked and put the measuring cups and spoons, can opener, peeler, pizza slicer and ice cream scooper back in the drawer.

Everything else remains in the box. Anything that is taken out of the box to be used during the month of April will go back in the drawer. On May 1st, the box and any of it's remaining items will be taken to DI.

Now, off I go to make a meal plan that will require me to use all my stuff.

Bullet Post

2010-03-25T13:51:00.001-06:00

- It's spring, which means that it's birthday time in our house. We've celebrated two of the three kids birthdays in the last 2 weeks. You know you have birthdays that are close together when you end up throwing away half a birthday cake because everyone is tired of cake. Must remember to post birthday pics and such on the other blog.

- When parents get sick, dad always ends up being the sicker of the two. Never-mind that mom had to clean the house, do mountains of laundry, host a birthday party, teach primary music, and care for a sick three-year old of the most unpleasant kind, all whilst suffering from a sore throat that made eating, speaking and yawning unbearable, running a low-grade fever, and being so exhausted that sitting on the couch immediately led to snoring. No, now that dad is sick, mom's complaints from the last week are paltry compared to the raging fever, bone-wracking chills, and puss encrusted throat that dad is suffering from. Hmph.

- Laundry is a thankless task. Especially now that everyone is potty-trained and changing their own clothes, multiple times a day. (Someone please tell me why, once a child is potty trained, they feel the need to change their pants 6 times a day, even when they are perfectly clean?) Also, now that soccer season is upon us, the coach has twice as much laundry each day. All that being said, laundry has two great perks. (Don't tell my family.)

Everyone else hates to do laundry, so they leave me alone as I sort, load, fold and put away. Blissful time, all by myself.
I claim all treasures I find in the laundry as my own. I can do whatever I want with them. That means all toys, drawings, rocks, paperclips and other such treasures get dumped in the trash. And, all money found in mine. Look at how I cleaned up this week.

$4.12, a hair clip, a tiny key, a pistachio shell (can't figure that one out since we haven't had pistachios in the house since NY), a stack of business cards (anyone want to send their kids to a great little independent school, just call my husband) and a paperclip. Awesome.

- There's nothing like a good romance novel (or 6) to keep stress at bay. Well, that and diet coke. We have a big chair in our master bedroom, next to a sunny window. There's nothing that makes a day seem a little brighter than 20 minutes in that chair with a frosty cold diet coke, a blanket on my lap, and a little romance between a viscount and a governess (for example.)

- I'm thinking of planting a small garden this Spring. Our ward has a garden, and we have a small plot reserved for our use. The kids are jazzed about digging in the dirt and watching things grow, but I'm wondering if planting a garden, with just their help, is a little more than I can handle. As a total gardening novice, will I only end up spending money and time on a piece of dirt that will give forth... nothing? Looking for gardening tips of the most basic variety.

That's just the way it is

2010-02-26T11:00:00.002-07:00

When you get all jazzed up and start feeling cocky about having your youngest child potty-trained, well, just beware. That's the day when your soon-to-be 5 year old will sneak into your bed in the middle of the night, and empty his bladder. Unpleasant, to say the least.

There's nothing like kids to take you down a notch. Off to put the clean sheets on my bed!

Smells like ...

2010-02-19T00:41:00.001-07:00

Not too long ago, I was putting myself to bed one night when I caught a whiff of a nasty smell. I stopped, sniffed, and sniffed again. The smell was gone. I sat on the edge of my bed and tried to decide if this was a phantom smell or an actual smell. I suffer from a highly sensitive, yet highly inaccurate, sense of smell.

A trip down memory lane.... When I was six, I was enjoying a lovely afternoon of Barbie playing (undressing, if we're being honest) when a wonderful aroma filled my room. Roasted marshmallows, yum. I sat on my floor, surrounded by teeny-tiny clothes, waiting for my Mom to call me into the kitchen for an afternoon snack of s'mores (this seemed perfectly likely in my six-year-old mind) until I realized that my curtains were ablaze. My nose knew that something was up, but was totally unable to determine that it was my scorched red, gingham curtains and not marshmallows that I was smelling.)

Years later, my nose still behaves in much the same fashion. That evening last week, I sat and smelled ... something. I buried my face in the bedding, I stuck my nose in every corner, I bent close to the toilet in our adjoining bathroom, but could not locate the smell. My husband wandered into the room as I was hyperventilating into our pillow shams. "Do you smell that?" I asked. (Foolish of me, I know. My husband, lovely as he is, can't smell a dirty diaper if it's sitting on him. Hence, all the poopy diapers he avoided for years, until I just starting saying "the baby is poopy, you need to change her.") He shrugged and replied, "maybe, I guess." I did what I could, and scrubbed the toilet before going to bed.

Waking up the next morning, I took a deep breath, and (hallelujah) things smelled fine. I went about my day and thought nothing of it. That evening, I sat on the bed and smelled "it" again. I repeated the whole search process; smelling the bed, smelling the bathroom, looking for dirty diapers (thankfully, didn't find any) and decided that the stench must be coming from the potty chair in our bathroom. The thing had been getting one heck of a work out. (Gotta love potty training!) So, I blasted the thing with Clorox, removed it to the hallway, and then sprayed Lysol around our bathroom. With the pleasant scent of chemicals burning in my nose, I went to bed.

The next day dawned bright, and stinky. I pulled all the linens off the bed and washed them in hot water. ( I never wash in hot water, it hurts my eco-conscience.) I scrubbed garbage cans. I vacuumed. I scoured the toilet (again.) And still, I smelled "it"... at least I thought I did.

I gave up. In the early evening, my darling, oldest girl came downstairs and boldly announced "Mom, your bedroom smells like poo." My sense of validation was enormous.

"I know, I've been trying to figure out what it is for days. I think something must be wrong with the pipes. Maybe there's a dead animal in the walls...." I was a manic, stink-obsessed, conspiracy-theory convinced, crazy woman.

Calmly, my husband challenged our daughter. "I'll give you a dollar if you can figure out what stinks up there."

In less than 3 minutes, she was back with a rotten-milk filled, sippy cup (which had leaked under the trunk at the foot of our bed) demanding her dollar.

And that's reality. There are all sorts of motivating factors in life; good housekeeping, clean air, hygiene, quality of life. But one thing trumps them all... cold, hard cash. After three days of nasal and mental anguish, it all came down to an eight-year-old's desire to earn a buck. Ah, who cares? At least my room doesn't stink anymore.

Moments of Joy

2010-01-30T12:39:00.000-07:00

I'll admit to feeling a little "ho-hum" lately, so I thought I'd reflect on some of the things that have made me happy this past week. And so, in no particular order, I present my "moments of joy."

Although I'm not a runner, "Born to Run" makes me wish I was. Christopher McDougall does a fantastic job interweaving the story of "the run" with the back story and research behind endurance running. (I also enjoyed reading it on the Kindle. That's one cool little toy.)

I started watching this Masterpiece Classics version of Emma last Sunday. The setting, costumes, and casting are all delightful. I can't wait to see more tomorrow.

My husband and I joined two other couples for Dinner Club at P712 on Tuesday. The company was fun and the food was amazing. It was particularly cool to have the chance to talk to true food artists, and hear about their philosophy on eating.

We're potty training (again) in our house this week, and nothing makes me happier than hearing the music playing from this little potty. Music = potty success! We've been hearing lots of music, but I've also done a little more laundry than usual. Totally worth it if this means that my diaper changing days are numbered.

I'm trying to drink a little less diet coke. Sniff. So, in the few quiet moments of the day when I normally would crack myself open a silver bullet, lately I've been turning on the kettle and steeping myself a lovely cup of peppermint tea. There is something so civilized about the ritual of tea. Shall I learn to make scones and clotted cream?

I bid farewell to Late Night TV

2010-01-23T17:18:00.000-07:00

Without Conan tempting me, I guess I'll be going to bed earlier now. I have a hard time feeling like that's a good thing. The adults in our house will be anxious to see what Mr. O'Brien does next.

Old Hag

2010-01-21T14:55:00.000-07:00

The year I turned 30 was a pretty rough year. I discovered I was pregnant with baby #3. Nine months later, after bed rest, IVs, zofran pumps and trying to hold down a full-time job, we had a beautiful, healthy baby girl. Through all that, I got old. Grey hairs started popping out, my skin was completely unrecognizable to me, and (thanks to 3 c-sections) my figure was shot.

That was three years ago, and I still feel old. So, now I'm on a quest to recover my youth. Yes, I'll admit that sounds slightly dramatic. Forgive me.

Luckily, my wonderful sister-in-law is great with hair color --goodbye greys! Our treadmill is getting a good deal more use, so hopefully that will help fix the figure (and my energy levels, while I'm at it.) So, I'm left dealing with that alien skin. Since our move to Utah last summer, I've been vigilant with moisturizer and sunblock. But, I need to repair the damage done by a childhood spent under the tropical Indonesian sun. I got myself a product that promises visible results in 14 days. So, here's a picture of day 1. Let's see how I look in 2 weeks.

No, I don't really have an orange stripe in my hair. Fluorescent lights do strange things....

The Fuss About Food

2010-01-13T23:01:00.000-07:00

I made a lovely meal plan for the week on Monday morning. I spent a little extra time considering what I had in the cupboards, and made my plan based on things that I already had on hand. Imagine that. After making my shopping list, I got the kids off to school, packed the youngest into the car, and off we headed to the grocery store (the one with the trucks.) I've decided that the fact that the groceries are slightly more expensive is OK with me because the truck shopping-cart makes my time at the store with an obnoxious almost three year old, slightly easier.

We had an ideal trip. I found everything on my list for a week's worth of dinners and we had no melt-downs. We were out of the store in 30 minutes having only spent $48, and having only purchased things that were on my list.

Oh, it all started so well.

We are now on day three of the week, and so far I have made ONE of my planned meals. And the kids hated it. They ate Cheerios for dinner (and I've been finding those crunched up little buggers all over the house ever since.) I'm so tired of fixing meals that three of us will eat, while the other two have peanut butter on bread.

There we have it, my kids are picky eaters. But, not in any normal way. My oldest loves calamari and broccoli, but would rather DIE than eat corn or a hamburger. My boy adores Chinese food and mujhadra (a middle eastern lentil & rice dish) but refuses to sit at the table if macaroni and cheese (even the awesome homemade stuff) is being served. And then there's that littlest one.... she just doesn't eat. Her entire diet consists of yogurt, ham, pirate's booty, bread (but don't you dare toast it or put butter on it) and water. Sometimes, she'll beg me for an apple (cut up, no peels) and after all that effort will look disparagingly at it, and attempt to throw it in the garbage. She's 27 puny pounds of obstinance.

Every once in a while, the stars will align and I'll create a meal that everyone likes. (The last time it was chicken & broccoli stir fry, but that's no assurance that if I make the exact same thing again anyone will eat it.) Even when that miraculous event occurs, I'll be half way through loading up the dishwasher after dinner and someone will come in and utter my two least favorite words in the English language, "I'm hungry." AAAAAAHHHHHH.

I'll admit that from time to time I'll read the blog of another woman who has young children, and I'll hear about them eating salmon or Swiss chard and how much they LOVE it, and I think, "yeah, right."

So, here's my question to the universe at large. How do you feed your children nutritious meals that all of them will actually eat? And then, to make matters all the more complicated, how do you lose weight while doing so? Inquiring minds want to know.

Am I Back in the Saddle?

2010-01-04T22:12:00.000-07:00

Let us just ignore the fact that it has been an age since my last post, shall we? My first year with this little blog has been hit and miss, but I do find a certain sense of comfort in knowing that it is here. A little place for my thoughts to rest. Unfortunately, it seems I haven't had many lately.

With the new year upon us, I am optimistic and hopeful that my tiny little corner of the blogosphere will become a more active place. I know that will make my mother happy. (Hi, Mom.)

Like the rest of you out there, I have been contemplating the multitude of possible New Year's Resolutions that I could make for 2010. How much weight to lose? How many books to read? How much to exercise? How much TV to cut out? How to be a better mom? How to be a better wife?

I've decided that my resolutions all boil down to one mega-resolution. For the year 2010, my resolution is ... to pay attention.

I figure that will cover everything from catching my almost 3 year old BEFORE she scribbles all over the couch with a Sharpie again to feeding my kids less fast-food; from hopefully gaining a little control over my health to gaining a little more control over my happiness.

With this resolution firmly in mind, I'm off to start the dishwasher and put myself to bed early. Starting small.

Mornings

2009-10-07T21:07:00.000-06:00

My alarm rang at 6:30 this morning. And then again at 6:38, 6:46, 6:52, 7:00 and 7:08. Then, I dragged my sorry butt out of bed, and went to fake my way through cheerful "good mornings" with my children, who were all about as happy to get out of bed this morning as I was. Unfortunately, this is not a rare occurrence. As a family, we just aren't morning people.

I've had a few good mornings in my life. You know, Christmases and mornings when I'm totally jet-lagged and miraculously wake up at 6 a.m. bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. (Wow, that's a strange expression.) I love those mornings, and the lovely, long days that follow.

Inevitably, no matter how lovely, I just can't sustain mornings. The reality of watery eyes, dry mouth, stuffy nose, sore feet, and general grumpiness sets in. I sleep later than I want, I am short tempered, and then feel perpetually guilty because of it.

All that being said, my own sense of optimism prevails. Every night, I set my alarm, and vow to do better the next day. Maybe one of these days, I will.

Observations.

2009-09-30T11:23:00.000-06:00

I will use this, my first post from Utah, to take a moment and share with you my observations of this place we, once again, call home.

1. There is something about mountains that can take you away from yourself, out of the chaos of the mind and the world, and make things good. A change of perspective (literally) is always healthy.

2. There are some really rockin' new restaurants in Utah Valley. We went to Rooster for my birthday, and I stuffed myself so full of dumplings, that I didn't have the chance to try the lava cake. Must go back soon. The one thing I have yet to find is a satisfactory bagel. They say there is something about NY water that makes for the best bagel, and I'm willing to believe that.

3. Going to church here feels like being at a runway show. The hair, the makeup, the shoes, the clothes. I spend my time at church with chewed up goldfish crackers on my shoulder and my two year old's head up my skirt. (Why do kids think that lifting their mother's skirt in public is so funny?) I feel "done up" when I've got mascara on and my hair is clean. I've even on occasion been known to wear my Birkenstocks to church. I'm a little bit out of my league. I need some help from my friends at HACD.

4. Not to state the obvious but, there are A LOT of Republicans here. I'm afraid to wear my Obama on Mt. Rushmore T-shirt out in public. It's strange coming from New York where I was considered conservative to Utah where I feel like a rebellious liberal. Ah, the power of the eye of the beholder.

5. I really have to start running. Apparently, it's the thing to do. The more miles the better. Unfortunately, I don't think I could run from my front door to the mailbox, so I have some work to do.

Lists

2009-05-19T13:02:00.000-06:00

So, I'm one of those people who makes lists when under stress. Last night, I realized I'd reached a new low when I started making a list of the lists that I need to make. I wasn't even thinking about the list I'm secretly making for my husband. He loves those!

This afternoon, I'm feeling a little more in control. Unfortunately, it's all because I'm home with an eight year old with a nasty case of pink eye. But, having a weekday at home, actually accomplishing some items on my list (instead of just putting them on the list) has helped to calm me down.

Of course, sitting here for a few minutes has given me the time to think of three more things to put on my list. I guess I just shouldn't stop moving.

Someday...

2009-05-12T16:29:00.004-06:00

...I won't have to wipe anyone's runny nose but my own. I can't wait for that day. Will it happen this summer when we move to a different climate, or will it only happen when my kids have reached the age where having streams of boogers pooling on their upper-lips is finally considered disgusting? Here's hoping for climate change, because my kids seem to have no sense of shame!

A confession

2009-05-04T20:51:00.001-06:00

I have been a full-time working mom for the past 4 years. It's been a challenge. I'm constantly struggling with feelings of guilt, inadequacy, selfishness, resentment, you name it. I always feel like I'm doing things last minute and half-a*#ed. I get home everyday and the two and half hours between walking in the front door and bedtime are the longest, hardest, most anger filled hours of my day. I turn into a temper-tantrum throwing maniac. And then, I beat myself up about it because, of course, my children deserve a mother who is serene and self-controlled.

We are making a move in June that will allow me to be a stay-at-home mom. I have all sorts of visions of what things will be like. Lots of cooking healthy, delicious foods all from scratch, learning how to use a sewing machine (or at least hem my own pants), arts and crafts with my two year old, singing, reading, going for walks, and generally being perfect in every way. My deep, dark fear is that every minute of every day of my future will feel like the last few hours of my present days. Is that wrong to admit? What if I hate staying home? What if I'm bored all the time? What if I'm angry all the time?

I guess that it will continue to be about that tricky balancing act, giving my kids everything they need without giving up the things I need. Now I just need to figure out what those things are.

*** Sheesh, note to self. Don't blog on Monday nights, especially when you and the kids are all sick. You sound way too "angst-y."

Green with envy over green thumbs

2009-04-25T23:19:00.000-06:00

We live in a little neighborhood that consists of three buidings, each with 4 townhouse units. It's a pretty idyllic spot for kids (9 of the 12 units are families with kids.) We have a playground, playing fields, a circle for bike and scooter riding, a giant woodchip pile that has provided hours of imaginative play, and a little neighborhood garden. On beautiful days like today, the kids roam around in a pack, while the moms sit outside and chat, occasionally reminding them to not eat chalk or walk in front of the swings. As our beautiful days have increased in frequency, our neighborhood gardeners have come out in force. The square of dirt that has looked depressing all winter, is starting to fill up now with tiny starter plants. I'll tell you straight up, I am no gardener. I have tremendous difficulty keeping any green thing alive. As much as I respect and admire those that do, I just don't seem to have what it takes. I've only had one pseudo-success in the garden in my entire life. I made a bold attempt with a few tomato plants last year. I kept them potted, but worked throughout the summer to nurture them along. Then, just as those green tomatoes that I had been tending so carefully began to show their first tints of orange, we sublet our townhouse for a month, and went to Utah. Our lovely tenants literally enjoyed all the fruits of my labor. This year, as much as I am itching to try again, I have to restrain myself. I can't keep an indoor plant alive for more than a few weeks. Somehow, I don't think my tomato plants would survive a cross-country move in the middle of June. Alas, I must wait for next year. Maybe then, I'll be brave enough to actually plant them in the ground.

I'm in love

2009-04-22T18:06:00.003-06:00

She arrived today, all tiny and pink. My new baby!

The pink means that she's all mine. No sharing with my husband! Hip, hip, hurray!

Yes, I am a New Yorker.

2009-04-21T21:29:00.002-06:00

In my time living in New York, I have become an avid reader of the New York Times. (Actually, I started reading it while at BYU in an attempt to keep a little balance in my life.) Anyway, I'm too much of a cheapskate to actually buy a subscription to the Times and I hate having piles of recycling around. So, I check the NY Times website every morning. I've realized over the last few months, that although I read it every day, I never have any idea what's on the front page. Why on earth would I want to read about bail-out plans and water-boarding, when I can read David Pogue's technology blog, the Tuesday Science Times, and Thomas Friedman's editorials? Bono (yes of U2 fame) wrote a fantastic piece that was in last weekend's Sunday Times.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/19/opinion/19bono.html

Are we focusing on "value" or "values?" And doesn't Easter bring about such masterful musings?

Two months

2009-04-18T18:07:00.000-06:00

Moving day is less than two months away. In some ways two months sounds like a LONG time, but then I remember that my husband and I both work at a school, and I start to panic about how little time I have to get everything done.

The last two months of the school year are a blurry sprint. You come back all relaxed from spring break and then you don't breath again until June.

Keeping that in mind, we decided to tackle the attic last week. Today, it was "winter clothes." I'm ashamed that we have as much as we do, when 6 huge bags of clothing went to Goodwill this afternoon.

When we moved to New York, we drove a half empty truck and fit ourselves comfortably into a 300 square foot apartment in Morningside Heights. 9 years and 3 kids sure have loaded us up with a lot more crap.

I'm dreading the bookshelves and kitchen more than any other spaces in our house and can only blame myself for them.

Do you ever...

2009-04-16T22:27:00.003-06:00

...fall asleep at 6:30 in the evening, only to wake up at midnight with no hope of falling back to sleep anytime soon? I do. So, here I am folding laundry, watching HGTV, loading the dishwasher, and blogging. It's amazing how much more productive I am when I shouldn't be. The house is quiet and clean. My inevitably difficult morning seems worth it in the moment.

What do you do when you are inexplicably (or hormonally) awake in the middle of the night?

My guy.

2009-03-28T19:59:00.002-06:00

So, usually I wouldn't post this entry on this blog, I'd stick it on my kid's. They have their own forum where we blog about all the wonderful things they do.

Every once in a while though, a Mom finds herself in a position where she has to share something her kid does, but she knows that that kid will die if they ever find out about it. If I posted this on the other blog, poor Harrison would eventually be unhappy about it, so I'll share this here.

Harry is almost 4. Capable as he may be, he doesn't like to get himself dressed in the morning. On this lovely Saturday morning, Harry was told to get dressed. Instead of whinging and complaining, he did this....

He had his shirt on around his ankles, but I'm a little uncomfortable posting the picture that shows that. Let's just say that it shows more than his ankles.

You gotta love a kid with a burgeoning sense of humor.

Work

2009-03-20T13:47:00.003-06:00

Let me just start by confessing that every morning when I get to work, I turn on my computer, check my work e-mail and then I check my Yahoo horoscope and then my google reader to see what's up in blog-land. This five minutes in the morning kind of settles me down and pushes the dread of actually being at work to the back of my mind.

Today, on this first day of Spring, I'm home with a feverish two year old, and my own sinus-infection. I was a little late in reading my horoscope but when I did, it made me laugh.

"Problems you've been having at work will be over soon. You need to think positive."

Point taken, thank you Yahoo Horoscope.

We will be making our big move back west in June, and it can't come soon enough. I'll be so grateful to be a stay-at-home mom again, although I might be singing a different tune in October!

A humiliatingly proud moment

2009-03-15T17:43:00.002-06:00

After dinner tonight, I was trying to build a little enthusiasm for living room clean up.

Said I: All right gang, let's get this room cleaned up. Maren, you clean up the legos. Me and Harry are going to pick up the crayons.

Said Maren: No Mom, you mean "Harry and I."

It felt like a punch in the gut and a warm hug all at once.

When you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

2009-03-12T15:36:00.000-06:00

So, I won't.

Lucky

2009-03-05T09:23:00.000-07:00

I have a phenomenal husband. His time and opinions are much sought after. He works hard, strives to do his best, is always anxious to learn something new, and makes me laugh every day (even on days when I don't particularly want to laugh.) No matter what, his family is his top priority, and he takes the time to let us know that. Check out his fantastic blog post on our kids blog. He is, hands down, the best dad of his generation!

How did March get here so fast?

2009-03-04T19:32:00.000-07:00

Somehow, another month has flown by. I always get to this point in the year and feel like life starts moving in fast-forward. March is always a hectic month at work, and equally hectic at home with two birthdays speeding toward me in the next three weeks. So, as I always do when I'm feeling slightly out of control, I will make a list.

Things I must do (and want to do) in March....
1. Plan "Olivia" daycare party for a 2 year old without driving myself to the point of self-critical insanity.
2. Plan & host a sleepover party for 8 year old girls without spending more money than our tax refund will allow.
3. Make 3 well-visit doctors appointments. This means not only being organized and planning ahead, but actually having all of the kids "well" at some point this month.
4. Start collecting boxes in anticipation of the big move -- but don't start packing them yet.
5. Do some "fun" reading. I just finished "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan." As much as I loved it, I need something a little bit lighter.
6. Plan primary music ahead of time so I'm not seething with resentment on Saturday nights.
7. Figure out what the strange smell coming from behind the washing machine is.
8. Stop taking a cookie after lunch every day.
9. Enjoy the company of good friends.
10. Take a picture to send into Cute Day. I try to have them, but documenting them is tough.
11. Sit down and plan out what needs to happen at work between now and June. I've checked out a bit and need to get my game on.
12. Dang it.... make a treat to send into Play Group tomorrow. Better run!

Stop complaining

2009-02-27T18:30:00.001-07:00

The problem with taking a moment to complain about some annoying thing your kids do like I did in my last post, is that as soon as you do, something worse will happen. I guess that's Karma, huh?

While Harrison, our 4 year old, put me on the ledge by making me tired, Norah, our not-quite 2 year old, pushed me over. Does anyone else out there have a two year old who rejoices in nudity? Well, our Norah does. She can get naked in less time than I can hang up my coat and take off my shoes at the end of the day.

Now, nudity really isn't the problem for me. My problem lies in the fact that she now gets naked in her crib. I've found her naked and shivering on a couple of mornings, but two nights ago was the worst. About 2 hours after I put her to bed, Harry came downstairs to tell me that "Norah's naked, and she smells like poop."

My heart sunk, my stomach clenched, and I had a sinking feeling I knew what awaited me upstairs. Sure enough... naked Norah sitting in her crib and a very dirty diaper that had turned into a substitute for playdough and finger paint.

It's interesting to respond to a situation on so many levels; laughter, nausea, exasperation and exhaustion. But mostly, I was just peeved that it upped my cleaning chores.

Needless to say, she's wearing her PJ's that snap up the back now. She hates them, but they stay on.

I guess I need to start thinking about potty training.

Defensive Sleeping

2009-02-26T13:35:00.000-07:00

Our four year old has the nasty habit of sneaking into bed with us in the early hours of the morning. Now, I'm grateful that he spends most of the night in his own bed. We've worked hard to get him to this point. But I have to spend a moment complaining about that little bugger's pointy-pokey knees and elbows. I find myself waking up in the morning in a defensive position, with my arms crossed across my chest, my hands in front of my face, and my knees pulled up so they form a blockade between his thrashing little body and my easily bruised limbs. Spending any amount of time trying to catch some "z's" with that kid in my bed is dangerous business. I watch my girls as they sleep, still and peaceful, and wonder why one of them can't be the one that worms their way into the parental bed.

Even when he's sleeping in his own bed, my boy is a menace!

Ah, guilty pleasures

2009-02-22T15:59:00.002-07:00

I just love watching the Oscars. As much as I enjoy the movies and the acceptance speeches and all that, it's really all about the clothes. I hope that E! does their "shoe-cam" again.

We're ordering Chinese and making a night out of it. The poor kids are going to be neglected and bored off their rockers. Is anyone else shirking their responsibilities tonight?

Things I JUST CAN'T STAND

2009-02-17T09:15:00.001-07:00

1. Making school lunches for kids who go to a school with a "nut-free campus."

2. The sound of a vacuum cleaner. It gives me shivers and makes me throw temper tantrums. Such a shame, because I love the look of a freshly vacuumed carpet, but we live without that in our house.

3. The fact that my 23 month old has learned to open refrigerator. I keep finding apples with three bites taken out of them, and gnawed on string-cheeses still in their wrappers all over the house. She's fast, sneaky and unrepentant.

4. The smell of processed meat. Canned soups, sandwich meat, left-overs... anything with meat that has been previously been cooked makes me wanna barf. The remnant of three really hard pregnancies.

5. Mornings. I've always hated mornings. Somehow I ended up with a life that requires me to be at work, cheerful and ready for the day, at 8:00 am. Every morning is torture, no matter what I do.

6. Knowing that we're moving, and having to wait to start packing. I'm ready to throw things away and start selling the rest on craigslist, but we've got 4 months until I can start doing all that stuff.

7. Trying to convince a kid to take a nap all day, and then having them fall asleep 15 minutes before dinner time. I just know I'm in for an impossible night.

8. My eyebrows. I hate tweezing them, but I detest the way they look when I have them waxed in a salon. They always end up taking off too much and I look like I have tiny dashes on my forehead.

9. Cleaning the lint trap on my dryer. It's one of the badly designed ones that gets dust all over the top of the dryer when ever you pull it out. Makes me crazy.

10. Soccer on TV. I can appreciate a soccer game in real life, but on TV it's just a combination of annoying and boring (monotonous drumming, no scoring.) Sorry babe, but that's how I feel.

11. Picking up legos and playmobile. Why is every tiny piece so important that it must be saved, but not important enough to be taken care of properly? If I vacuumed, those little pieces of plastic would be toast.

12. The fact that it is so much easier to come up with a list of 12 things that I hate than it is to come up with 5 things I'm grateful for.

(Oh, and a kid who thinks that spitting is funny, it's not.)

Grateful Sunday

2009-02-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

A few things I'm grateful for on this February day.

1. Clear, soft Long Island sunshine. I know that light is light, but there is a strange thing that happens occasionally here. The sun shines and light streams down, all diffused and shimmery. You feel like you should be able to reach out and catch the glistening light in the palms of your hands. In the middle of our grey and dreary winter, it is miraculous.

2. Children with active imaginations. It sometimes means extra clean up, but their busy brains keep them happy and engaged. Who knew that a pile of blankets and pillows at the bottom of the stairs could be such fun?

3. Wonderful neighbors who invite our family over for dinner on a day when I really didn't want to cook.

4. My dishwasher. I was without one for a few weeks a while ago and it has made my appreciation all the more great. I will love that appliance until the day I die.

5. A lovely husband who stepped up and took over when I crawled back into bed this morning and fell asleep for two hours. It's his turn now.

Nerd Thrill

2009-02-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

For those of you who like a little Sudoku from time to time, have you seen the puzzle called KenKen? It's a pretty simple concept, but man it can get tricky. I did my first puzzle yesterday when it appeared in the New York Times, and I think I'm hooked. So, if your mind needs a little mathematical stretching, go play KenKen!

baby language

2009-02-08T06:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it serves me well to take a step back and take a few minutes to observe the rapid pace my at which my children grow and change. It's particularly noticeable with my soon-to-be two year old daughter.

I've really been appreciating her blossoming language skills, among many other things. A few short months ago, I would stand at the stop of the stair with her and ask "do you want me to carry you?" and she would respond "carry you."

Then, a couple of weeks ago, she started responding to my question by answering "yes, carry me."

Today, as we stood looking down the stairs, I asked again" do you want me to carry you?" to which she firmly answered "No Mommy, I can do it myself."

Growing language skills, fierce independence and little bit of attitude all in one sentence. Check out my other blog to see her in action! Aren't kids fun?

Fighting Fatigue on a Friday Night

2009-02-06T18:49:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, Friday afternoons roll around and I feel like I can't possibly contemplate doing one more single thing. I drag my sorry butt home, hide in my room for a while, and try to "gird up my loins" (my father's favorite expression) to head back into the reality that is living with 3 kids in a very small house. I'll admit that today, I was having a hard time leaving the confines of my bedroom. And then, a miracle happened.

My husband, saint that he is, stopped on his way home from work, and picked up Mexican food for dinner. Then, after dinner, he put all three kids to bed while I lounged on the couch in an enchilada stupor. To top it all off, he rented Mama Mia for me on DVD, even though he ran into people he knew at Blockbuster, who ribbed him for getting such a chick-flick. The guy just loves me, what can I say?

It's hard to indulge in crankiness when someone's being so nice to you.

Since I was doing this for Facebook....

2009-02-03T16:00:00.000-07:00

25 Random Things About Me

1. I generally don’t do tags, but I’ve gotten this one enough that I’m hoping to put an end to it by actually doing it.

2. Having grown up in Indonesia, I HATE winter and don’t think I’ll ever get over it.

3. I spent yesterday singing and dancing to “Single Ladies” with my not-quite 2 year old. She can really shake it!

4. I love to fold laundry, but hate to wash it or put it away.

5. I’m the only girl in my family and as such am entitled to favored status. Sorry boys, that’s just the truth of the matter!

6. I’ve been married for that past 12 years (well, almost.) Time flies when you’re having fun!

7. I love Marian Keyes books too (shout out to Kristen), but my real guilty pleasure is trashy romance novels. Stephanie Laurens, Lisa Kleypas, Mary Balogh, Julia Quinn… please publish something new soon!

8. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

9. I wish I had cool hair, but a ponytail is my reality.

10. I need to lose 30 pounds, but can’t figure out how to do it without having to diet and exercise.

11. I am a font of useless pop-culture information.

12. I waste money buying books instead of going to the library. My husband is an enabler.

13. Phineas and Ferb makes me laugh every time my kids watch it.

14. I have an unhealthy relationship with Diet Coke.

15. I adore Fred and Ginger movies, but haven’t seen one in 12 years (see #6).

16. I’ve been listening to Eva Cassidy a lot lately. She’s amazing.

17. The only thing that makes Sunday morning bearable for me is “The Puzzle Master Presents” on NPR.

18. I love to read Personal Finance Self Help books, but rarely take their advice.

19. I wish I played tennis. I’m a fan, but can’t find the time or free child-care needed to play.

20. I’m our Primary Music Leader at church. I can get 11 year-old boys to sing, which is pretty miraculous.

21. I’ve lived on Long Island for the past 8 years and have yet to be on a boat on the Sound. How on earth did that happen?

22. Friday night TV is my favorite. I can watch What Not to Wear and Battlestar Galactica on the same night. Two very different sides of my personality, satisfied on the same night.

23. I have the three cutest, smartest, funniest, most creative kids on the planet. No, I’m not biased. It’s just a fact.

24. I’m a sucker for a good pork chop, but chocolate is the food I couldn’t live without.

25. I have the best husband ever in the history of husbands. He loves all these crazy things about me, and many, many more.

Things I can't believe I said today...

2009-02-02T23:00:00.000-07:00

... just don't stab your sister.

... you didn't eat any breakfast? Well, hurry up and grab some cookies and get in the car.

... I don't care what you are doing, as long as I'm not involved.

... fine don't wear your coat, you'll be freezing cold in two minutes. Don't come crying to me.

I think I need my darling husband to come home. We've been missing him, and I'm afraid the kids are going to be savages if he doesn't get back soon to balance things out here. Our "good cop/bad cop" routine doesn't work when the "good cop" is gone.

February Goals

2009-02-01T07:46:00.000-07:00

Well, I started my year off by making small goals to accomplish in January, knowing myself well enough to know how fool-hardy lofty resolutions are. Having completed my January goals, I sit here on the first day of February and reassess.

So, here are my goals for February...

1. Exercise 30 minutes a day, 5 times a week. I hesitate to even write that down because I find it so intimidating.

2. Create a plan to get all credit card debt paid off by the end of May. There's no way I can feel financial security with it looming (even if it isn't a lot.)

3. Finish Hot, Flat and Crowded and A Year in the World this month. I'm feeling the need for a little non-fiction.

4. Celebrate Valentine's Day. Not just say "we should do something for Valentine's Day" but actually do something.

What gets you through the week

2009-01-30T09:33:00.000-07:00

It's been a rough week in our little world here. It seems as though the big world has caught up to us, and we're starting to feel the sting of living close to the financial center of the world.

Here are a few things that have helped me get through this week:
Evening Primrose Oil. Let's just say it keeps me balanced. Without it I'm a shrieking harridan.Drakes Yodels. They are creamy, chocolatey deliciousness. Yum.

Tuesday night with the Biggest Loser. It helps keep the yodels in check.

I listen to NPR when I'm alone in the car. It provides something different than the High School Musical 3 Soundtrack. A few weeks ago I heard this story. I sobbed in the car as I listened to it and have found it inspirational as I try to keep things in perspective.
HGTV. It helps me fall asleep at night.

I really DO know better

2009-01-24T19:23:00.000-07:00

No matter how comfy and cosy your white athletic socks are, please remember to change them before you throw on your black leather shoes and head out for a Saturday morning of errand running. You will inevitably end up with a hem unknowingly stuck inside the leg of your jeans, and you will walk around looking a fool. Don't let yourself be lulled by the long length of your jeans, or the fact that you won't possibly see anyone you know. The universe will conspire to humiliate you and your dorky socks. Take an extra minute, run upstairs and grab hipper hosiery. You'll thank me.

Hope

2009-01-20T15:50:00.001-07:00

Hope has always been a significant word in my life. My name means hope in Russian, and it has always been a guiding force for me. I don't always have perfect faith or all-consuming optimism, but when it comes down to it, I have hope... hope that my best will be good enough, hope that my children will grow to be happy and fulfilled adults, hope that there is a plan for me that is greater than myself and hope that where we are today is only a jumping-off place for where we will someday be. Maybe that's why today has meant so much to me.

I'd like to share my favorite part of today's inauguration address...

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
(for the complete text visit http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090120/ap_on_go_pr_wh/inauguration_obama_text_10)

And so, today I find myself full of hope, and promising not to write anymore political blog posts.

image from www.adpulp.com

Blog-hopping

2009-01-18T16:14:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite activities that I indulge in after my kids have gone to bed is blog-hopping. It's always fun to pick a blog, click on their links, and see where you end up. Recently, I took a delightful blog trip. Let's recount:

I started here, on my other blog. (Take a minute and have a peak, my kids are way more fun than me!)

From there, I headed over to my Hawaiian family's blog.... Sorry I just had a wistful moment imagining myself on a warm and sunny beach in Hawaii. Back to business.

That lead me over to my Mom's cousin's blog. When I was a kid, he and my mom and all their siblings would get together and spend hours just laughing and laughing. They would throw around words like "existential" and made me want to know what they meant. That group of grown-up cousins made me realize that smart and cool really go hand in hand.

And finally, I ended up on my second-cousin's blog. She's so Euro-fabulous. We would spend those summer days listening in on the grown-ups and trying to keep the bratty little brothers and sisters from cramping our style. Then we'd go and jump on the trampoline, 'cause nobody's too grown up for a good bounce! So Amelia, that's how I found you. So glad I did.

Come and visit us in New York next time you fly stateside!

Will post more when....

2009-01-17T15:07:00.000-07:00

... this has disappeared.

No, not the cute little girl, the laundry. Who do you think I am?

My Dirty Little Secret

2009-01-16T18:39:00.000-07:00

I am a devoted fan of Battlestar Galactica. There, I said it. Now that it's out there, we can all move on. Season 4.5 starts tonight, and I can't wait.

The Joys and Woes of Finishing a Book

2009-01-12T18:01:00.000-07:00

Do you find yourself in the same predicament as me when you get close to finishing a book? Part of me wants to hurry and finish it, to see where the characters end up, how the author finds resolution, to have the satisfaction of closing the book and knowing its secrets. The other part doesn't want my relationships with the characters to end, doesn't want to lose the thrill of exploration, doesn't want my good excuse for ignoring my kids to be gone. I finished "Five Quarters of the Orange" and felt that same bittersweet feeling that I remember from being a kid and finishing the Little House on the Prairie series, or recently finishing Harry Potter (OK, I cried my eyes out, so sue me.) The thing that helps to wash away that wave of melancholy is knowing that I have stacks of new books to read. On to "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society." My mom says it's the best book she's read in a while.

The weekend of a working mom

2009-01-10T18:35:00.000-07:00

When you have three kids and work full time, weekend take on an entirely different level of importance. Every second is jealously guarded. Saturday is our day to do something fun as a family. Keeping that in mind did we go and explore a winter beach, go to our fabulous Children's Museum, visit our local arboretum or even go to a movie? Of course not. Instead, I did six loads of laundry while the kids watched the Beethoven marathon on Disney. I'll spend the rest of the night trying to sneak the folded laundry into my kids drawers as they sleep. Maybe we'll go to that winter beach tomorrow. Unlikely....

Ouch

2009-01-05T20:02:00.000-07:00

One of the great things about living just outside of New York City is the opportunity it presents to dress up and spend the day watching amazing people who must have amazing lives doing what must be amazing things. Last week, I threw on my gorgeous new coat, grabbed my sweet seven year old and in we went to see the Nutcracker. Now, for some reason, whenever I take her into the city, our entire trip becomes about finding bathrooms. So, we headed into Barnes & Noble to their second floor bathroom, right next to the kids book section. As I stood there waiting for her to finish up, I noticed a woman staring at me. I naturally thought "it's 'cause my coat is SO CUTE!" She then rushed up to me and said "you're having a boy, I can always tell." I found myself stammering something about "no, I'm not pregnant, the baby's at home tonight...." then to realize that the "baby" is almost 2. How long does it count as baby weight? Needless to say, I've been buttoning up that cute coat a lot more since then. Ouch.

Gratitude

2009-01-04T13:25:00.000-07:00

Don't tell anyone, but I really hate Sundays. I spend the entire week trying not to think about them and then breathe a huge sigh of relief when Sunday afternoon comes and I've survived another week. It must have something to do with sitting alone on the pew with my three kids who all turn into raving maniacs as soon as the organ starts.

So, rather than wasting anymore of my time dwelling on something that makes me wanna cuss, I'm going to try and be productive. About 12 years ago, Oprah (who I inspire to be) introduced the world to the idea of a gratitude journal. I faithfully kept my journal for a few months and then I got engaged and didn't have time anymore for things like journals, instead time went to a wedding, honeymoon, husband, school, work, baby, work, baby, work, baby, work, work, work.... That being said, I thought I'd try to take some time this Sunday afternoon to list 5 things I'm thankful for on this January Sabbath day.

1. Star Wars Galactic Hero toys. Nothing else keeps my three year old occupied for HOURS at a time. They are a miracle.
2. The giant quilt that Grandma-great made us as a wedding present. 11 years later, it's still the best thing to curl up under on a Sunday afternoon.
3. The guy sleeping under that quilt right now. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me.
4. Advair. The stuff's amazing, trust me.
5. Diet Coke. It was on my list 12 years ago, it's on my list today.

Fills My Heart with Gladness

2009-01-03T13:06:00.000-07:00

Most of the time, I kind of feel like I'm faking my way through motherhood. Like someday the parenting police are going to crash through my door and say "you have NO IDEA what you're doing... your son cannot eat another peanut butter sandwich for dinner."

Every once in a while though, I catch a glimpse of my success. My seven-year-old stretched out on a sunny spot on the couch, reading her book on a Saturday afternoon. That's success.